Apple
by 9peggy
Summary: How would you use that in a sentence?


**A/N: **Just a one-shot I put together inspried by http:/ 9peggy . deviantart . com /favourites/ 48929732?offset=24#/ d4agjdd. It's been awhile since the last time I wrote, but it's only because my computer crashed...in fact, it's still broken, so I'm using my mother's right now. But I will get back to writing soon, and hopefully more Portal work will be done. I think I might write a sequel to "Missed Call"...I dunno, I've got ideas, but this will have to do for now...Oh, and one more thing you'll need to know...it's basically set during 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.'

* * *

><p>Wheatley wasn't exactly having a great day.<p>

First, one of the scientists pulled him away to supervise some 'science fair', as he called it, without even _asking_ if he had the time to. Of course…he did have the time, loads of time, but it would've still been nice if someone considered _his _feelings for once.

Then, he had to sit through two mind-numbingly boring hours of science projects, most of them rather amateur for science standards, and now, the so called 'judge' had to excuse himself because apparently something was wrong with the bloody neurotoxin generator, leaving poor ol' Wheatley to watch the kiddos.

He didn't even_ like_ children.

Especially the one who wouldn't stop_ staring_ at him.

The girl was maybe around ten years of age. She was wearing a cap, a messy, dark haired ponytail sticking out of it, tan shorts, and a t-shirt with the words _"Potato Power!"_ etched across it in colorful letters. She had somewhat crooked front teeth, freckles, a band-aid placed limply on her left knee, and the brightest, most intense grey eyes he'd ever seen.

He might have been able to appreciate them more if they weren't presently boring holes into him.

"Oh, _please_ just _stop it_."

The girl didn't stop staring. Instead, she tilted her head to the side in a curious impression. Wheatley did his best to suppress a sigh. Why did children have to be so…_difficult?_

"Alright, suppose you want me to clarify that for you…ah, the _staring_. Yes, what you're doing _right_ now…it's not appreciated, alright? It's – it's annoying, and…and_ unnecessary_…and it's actually just a tad bit creepy, so if you could just…just look the other way, maybe? I mean, look at all the things around you! You've got loads of things you could look at besides me, and I know, I know I can be quite the looker, but, ah, that doesn't necessarily mean you just have to continuously _stare_ at me. Is any of this making sense to you? Am I being too vague? Couldn't you just _please_ look at something else?"

She _blinked_, but she didn't look away. Wheatley's blue optic swerved around the room awkwardly for a few moments, before he spoke again.

"Okay, so since you haven't looked away like I…_kindly _asked you to, I'm assuming you think that I'm the best thing to look at in the room. Well, true, I am a nice bloke, completely understandable, but really I'm not the most interesting thing. There's _loads_ of other stuff like…ah, let's see here, interesting things to look at…well, you've got the science projects, obviously, that's always…fun to study. Whale of a time, those are! You've…you've got the other children here, you could go and – and hang out with your little friends, assuming you have some, but if you don't, it honestly wouldn't really surprise me, seeing as you like to disturb people with your staring, but if – if you_ do_ have friends, then why not go have a chat with them? Instead of…of staring at me like you're _still_ doing…"

The child actually cracked a smile, her top eyelids lowering in a smug fashion. Was she…_taunting_ him?

"Okay, well, at first I thought this was just annoying but now it's getting _really_ tiresome, so I guess I'll have to just use my superior smarts on you…alright mate, you asked for it…here it comes…Last chance to change your mind before I confuse it to the point where you'll probably have to have therapeutic help…I'm – I'm warning you, you'll be seriously sorry if you continue on like this…alright, take that as a no then…"

His vocal sensors made a sound similar to that of a throat clearing itself, which was highly unneeded for him, but he thought it fit with the scene nicely. The kid only kept staring. Smirking. There was a message she was giving off, and Wheatley understood perfectly.

_Bring it on._

"Oh, look – look behind you! It's, ah, it's a lovely bird! So….majestic-looking, perched on _your _project like that, it is. Quickly, quickly, turn around before it's too late! This is a once in a life time opportunity, this is, something you defiantly do _not_ want to miss out on, and a beautiful bird like that will not be sticking around forever, I tell you. Oh – oh, you better hurry! It looks like it'll be taking flight soon, look, look! It's – it's fluttering its wings it's…it's…no? Not buying it…? Arrgh, _would you please just stop it?"_

Suddenly, the child burst out into a fit of giggles, clutching her sides, and doubling over in laughter. Wheatley's optic narrowed in annoyance.

"Oh, you think that's _funny_ do you? Well, I don't know why _you're_ laughing, because you're being incredibly_ rude _with your…_staring_, and I've tried everything to convince you to stop, I even asked _politely_ first, because that is the civil thing to do, and – and you know what else is civil? Not staring at people who are just minding their own business! So…why don't you just be a good girl and – and _stop it_?"

The girl's laughter gradually subsided, and she looked back up at him.

"I like you. You're funny."

Wheatley's upper shutter lowered at the child's words.

"Yeah, well…I don't like _you_."

She only shrugged, slipping her backpack off her shoulders and unzipping it. "Not many people do."

Wheatley's expression softened slightly at that, as he gazed with curiosity while the child pulled out a red…_something_ from her bag, and started…_munching_ on it.

"Ah, sorry, but…what is that, exactly, that you're chewing on?"

The girl glanced up at him, then at the object with a blank look.

"Apple."

Wheatley tilted himself to the side in wonder. "Hmm…I actually quite like that one. Apple." He said, trying the word out on his vocal sensors. "How…how would you use that in a sentence?"

The child took another bite of the apple, chewing slowly in thought.

"Umm…this apple is _crunchy_."

Wheatley blinked. "Hmm…interesting."

She settled herself Indian style on the floor, eating away at the fruit in her hand and looking up at him. "What's your name?"

"My name..? It's, ah, Wheatley, nice to meet you. Funny, no one's actually asked me that before…What – what do they call _you_?"

She took another bite. "People _call_ me silly, and a nimrod sometimes, but my _name_ is Chell."

"Chell…" Wheatley spoke, deciding he liked the sound. "Chell Chell Chell Chell –"

"Yes, that's my name. Please don't wear it out."

"Ah, sorry. I've just never heard that name before."

"Well, now you have." Chell finished the last of the apple, and tossed the core in the recycling bin.

"Nice shot…" Wheatley mused. She stood up, brushed off her shorts, and looked at him.

"I have to go to the bathroom." She announced to him.

He blinked once and looked around the room, slightly confused.

"Annnd? Ah, good to know. Glad you told me."

She kept watching him expectedly.

"Um…is there something you want me to _do_ about it?"

She nodded. "I need you to take me to the bathroom."

Wheatley gave a nervous chuckle. "Ah-hahaha, sorry, no can do. I might be supervising you kiddos, but I am no _babysitter_. So, I regret to tell you this, but I'm afraid you'll just have to hold it."

* * *

><p>He couldn't <em>believe<em> he was doing this. He had told her no, and he _thought_ he was sticking with that plan, but honestly…he had no idea a _child_ could _glare_ like that.

She emerged from the bathroom (Finally) and Wheatley zipped over to her on his management rail.

"God,_ finally_. What were you _doing_ in there, taking a bath? Er, actually, you know what, I take that back, I don't want to know…"

Chell answered anyways. "I was making bubbles with the soap."

"_I just told you not to tell me_ – wait…wait, sorry, you were doing _what?"_

"Making bubbles." Chell turned back, and motioned for him to follow. "Come on, it's really fun, I'll show you."

"W-wait, hold the phone! Stop, stop please!" She complied, for once. "I can't go in _there_, it's the _ladies _restroom, and…and, well_ obviously_ I'm not exactly a _woman_, I think you'll be able to tell, and – and besides we should be getting back to the room with the other children or I might get fired, and we wouldn't want that, would we –"

Chell rolled her eyes, turned the other way, and headed towards the men's restroom instead.

"Oh for God's sake- _where are you going now?"_

Looking around to make sure no one else was on the catwalk to see him, he headed into the men's room to find Chell on top of the counter, leaning over one of the sinks, and they were, thankfully, alone.

"Why can't you just _listen_ to me? I don't know why you're so determined to make my life harder, but you should know it is _not_ appreciated. Look…can't you just – just _obey_ me and follow me back to the room? Please? You can do whatever your heart desires there, if you'll just come back- ooh, oh wait, forget about that last part, you obviously can't do _whatever_ you want, like...like setting the place on fire, or – or blowing it up or something, and honestly I haven't the faintest idea of _why _you would _want_ to do that, or even how for that matter, for it would defiantly raise a few eyebrows, but – oh, what are you doing _now?"_

He had glanced back down at her to find the sink filled with a foamy, white substance. Chell cupped her tiny hands together and placed them in, scooping out a handful of the bubbles. She rubbed her hands, then formed a small circle with them, revealing a thin, translucent sheet. Wheatley peered through it, astonished that it was…_swirling_ the vision if you looked through it. He had about five seconds to marvel over his new discovery, before Chell _blew_ through it, making a bubble float out and pop right on his optic.

"Ah-AHH!" He shrieked, blinking his optic several times in alarm, and shooting backwards on his rail, hitting the wall, and – after swearing loudly – practically flew off, crashing to the ground. He grumbled in annoyance as he rolled around from the force of the impact, before stopping right in front of Chell. She was looking at him somewhat critically.

"You have a very womanly scream." She noted.

"Wha- I do _not!_ It's very _manly_, thank you very much, and I only screamed because I was…_startled_, that's all. A little warning next time before you do something like that would be_ tremendous_." He paused, looking around the room, and sighed. "This would've never happened if we hadn't left that room. Why can't you just_ behave_ yourself?"

Chell glimpsed down at him, hurt showing in her eyes. "Sorry….I just thought…you might like me more if I showed you something cool."

_Oh, bloody hell…_

Wheatley's shutters narrowed in a look of sympathy. He knew the feeling of trying to make people like you…show them you _weren't_ a moron like they said you were…

"Ah, ah, look…don't look so sad! I – that_ was_ cool, actually, do – d' you think you could show me again?"

Chell brightened at this, and she repeated her previous bubble-making, this one appearing much larger than the last as it floated through the air before popping.

"Ah, yes, that's…quite something. Don't think I could do that, seeing…as I have no mouth, but that's a real talent you have there, hold on to that. Anyways…well, if you're all finished here, do you think you could…oh, I dunno, pop me back onto the management rail so we can get back to the room…?"

Chell hopped down from the counter, drying her hands on her shorts. "Sure."

"Brilliant! Alright, um, so just pick me up and place me back up there, would ya?"

Chell bent down, grabbed both his handles, tried to pick him up, and fell down with an _'Oof!' _

"…Um, okay, no worries, just, ah…try again," said Wheatley.

She took a deep breath, gripped his handles again, and with much grunting, she managed to pick him up off the floor, where he stumbled into her arms. He could feel her limbs shaking with effort as she looked up at the rail with doubt.

"Ah, yes, there you go, half way there, come on, you can _do_ it…"

Chell took another breath, bit her lip with concentration, and struggled to lift Wheatley up. She was honestly surprised that she was able to get him a few inches into the air before she collapsed back onto the ground, dropping him on her stomach.

"Ah, you_ almost_ had it. Come on, come on, get back up, and try it again!"

She gave a definite shake of her head. "No way. You're too heavy."

Miffed, Wheatley narrowed his optic in a glare.

"Oh, well sorry _you're_ too _weak_ to even _try_. Why don't you go work out some, then come back and try again? Oh, wait, we can't because we have to get back to the room _as soon as possible!"_

Chell shook her head again, waving her hand to dismiss the subject. "Forget it, I can barely lift you. Besides, I'm too short to even get you up there."

"So what are we supposed to do then? Just sit here and wait for someone stronger to show up? Well, that's not exactly an option seeing as my job's already at stake here enough as it is, and if they find out I've been wasting time blowing _bubbles_, I won't just be fired, they'll throw me in the core rejected bin! The least you could do right now is keep that from happening, and getting us back to the room. So, if you've got any bright ideas stored up in that weird brain of yours, now would be a _great_ time to mention it."

She looked at him with irritation for a few moments, took off her backpack, picked him up with difficulty, and before he could ask what she was doing, she shoved him into her bag.

"Wha- _hey!_ What's this? What…are you…"

She zipped up the backpack enough so he was sturdily placed in, then slipped it back on. Her knees bended slightly under the weight, but at least she could walk again.

"There," she breathed in perseverance, "that should make things a bit easier…"

As she made her way out of the bathroom, Wheatley swerved his optic around, trying to look at her. "What, so you're just going to carry me like this the whole way, then?"

He felt her nod against the fabric of the bag. His top shutter lowered.

"Oh, this is humiliating! I feel like a…a child's play-thing back here, being handled like this. Couldn't you choose a…a less embarrassing option?"

"Look," she told him, an annoyed edge to her voice, "it's either this, or I'll just go ahead and leave you here, and tell some adult that you left the kids behind. How does that sound?"

His optic narrowed in suspicion. "You wouldn't do that…"

"Would you like to test that theory?"

Wheatley considered it, then thought better, and sighed in defeat.

"Fine. _Go team_."

* * *

><p>"Do you just <em>like<em> to get people in trouble? Is – is that you're crazy motive to all this? Because I honestly can't find an alternate one. I…I think that's it. I think you just enjoy putting others in misery and nearly getting them fired from their job. You are one evil little – _Waitwaitwait,_ why are you stopping, we're half-way there! At..at least I think we are…"

Chell had stopped her trudging to the seemingly endless walk back to the room and threw Wheatley on the ground, plopping down next to him.

"Let me…take a break…so tired…" She panted wearily.

"Oh, toughen up! I'm not _that_ heavy! Am I…?"

She nodded absentmindedly, laying down.

"D- don't take a nap _now!_ We still have to get back! Please? Look, I'm sorry for saying you were weak and…and calling you evil and such, but I take it all back, I was just…just trying to _motivate_ you so we could get there faster, is all! So – so please pick yourself back up?"

She opened one eye to glimpse at him. "Fine. But I'm still taking a break."

She sat up, and reached for her bag, pulling him out and setting him down next to her. She then dug into the bag, fishing out two new objects that Wheatley realized he must have been sitting on.

"Wh-what's that you have there?"

She had placed out in front of her a flat…something and a boxed…something else. She opened the flat bit, revealing what Wheatley recognized as paper, and she opened the box to several colorful sticks that Wheatley did not recognize.

"What _is_ that?"

"These," Chell answered, "are crayons. You use them to create pictures."

"Really? Show me."

Chell picked out a few crayons from the box, scribbling on the paper out of sight from Wheatley's vision. Several minutes passed until she finally finished and flipped the page around for him to see. Wheatley tilted to the side in confusion.

"Um…yes, that's very nice, but what _is_ it?"

Chell looked partially insulted. "It's you…can't you tell?"

"No, not at all, really. Well…I suppose if you squint real hard like this it _sort of_ resembles me…sort of…"

Chell rolled her eyes, tore out the page, crumpled it up, and threw it off the catwalk. Wheatley blinked.

"Well, you didn't have to destroy the poor thing…"

Shrugging, Chell started drawing something else. Wheatley, deciding he didn't like the silence, decided to fill it up with his talking.

"Hey…y'know, I just thought of something. Earlier, you told me that not many people liked you. What did you mean by that?"

Chell pursed her lips, glimpsing at him from her drawing. "I don't really have any friends."

"Wha? A nice girl like you not having any friends? That's…that's crazy! Surely you have at least a_ few_, don't you?"

She shook her head. "Not really. People just think I'm weird and crazy. I never seem to do anything right. But…I can't really help it. I can't be who they want me to be, because I'm not….I'm just Chell, nothing more."

Wheatley's shutters lowered, a feeling of sudden empathy coming upon him. "I can relate…"

As she finished her drawing – Wheatley was_ fairly_ sure it was an apple…maybe – he spoke again, while she hassled him back into the backpack.

"Well…I'd be _glad_ to be your friend."

She threw him onto her back, letting out a short breath. "Yeah, sure, whatever." she said indifferently.

Though, Wheatley didn't catch the huge smile that broke across her face.

* * *

><p><em>Several…<em>several_ years later…_

"Okay, what you're doing there is jumping, you just – you just jumped. But never mind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaaple.'"

Wheatley shifted on his rail uncomfortably. This was just _perfect_. He had _thought_ that it would've been good news to have found a live test subject for once, but he hadn't expected her to be…_brain damaged_. Brain damaged like a fox, to clarify, because she apparently jumps instead of speaking, and now she was just…staring at him…continuously.

_Hmm…talk about a case of déjà vu. _

"Simple word…Apple."

She stared.

"Just…just say, 'Apple'. Classic, very simple."

She did a do over on the room, then went back to staring at him.

"Ay…double p-ell-ee…"

Blink…blink…stare.

"Just say 'Apple.' Easy word, isn't it, 'Apple'?"

He could've sworn he saw her swallow uncomfortably.

"How do you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple is crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking for the whole sentence, just the word, 'Apple', I mean…not that difficult…Why – why are you staring at me like that? Please…please stop…"

Evidently deciding he deserved an answer, she jumped again.

"Okay, y'know what, that's close enough…"

Descending back into the ceiling, Wheatley almost laughed to himself.

"I feel sorry for whoever has to be _her_ friend…if she _has_ any friends…"


End file.
